To be or not to be? Das ist die frage

  What are the usual things girls do after a break-up?

  1.Sport a new hairdo.  2.Lose weight. 3.Hibernate. 4.Drink and of course, cry tears enough to fill the Marianas Trench. And depending on how awful the falling out is, the acts may range from crazy-weird to crazy-scary.

  Len, a dear friend finally ended a 5-year tumultuous relationship. (I am very biased as I have witnessed a number of times, her cyclic soliloquy of heartache and misery that can rival Shakespeare's tragedies.) Yes, just like a seer, I saw this coming long ago and was just surprised at how long she chose to endure.

  So there. Last weekend, I found myself tagging along for some tarot card reading. I never really imagined tarot reading/seeing a fortune teller making it to the list of ways on how to cope with a broken heart. Despite that, I gladly agreed to it. Anyway, as her friend, it's actually a relief that her brand of crazy-weird is way better than resorting to something crazy-suicidal (for instance) or anything that crazy-scary.

Right inside Robinson's Galleria

  I got the message that says we will be meeting at Robinson’s Galleria in Ortigas and was a bit amused when I learned that the ‘reader’ is right inside the mall. Really? Da Seeker’s Cove is actually at the 4^th floor of the mall. ‘How convenient,’ I thought. Again, I was confused. "You can do that too at one of the busiest malls in Ortigas Center catering mostly to urban educated yuppies?" Ok, why not? I myself can confess to having even the most mundane of everyday things done in a mall like attending a spinning class for instance. I was perhaps just stunned that we were not heading in an obscure hut somewhere in the suburbs to see a witchdoctor nor in Quiapo to consult with an enterprising Manang Bola.

Everyday I’m shuffling

  The universe must have conspired because although it was a weekend, Da Seekers Cove wasn’t busy at all. Len proceeded with her consultation. Only curtains served as a divider so I can easily make out their conversation. Since Len was feeling a little iffy, she asked me to accompany her during the 15-minute session. I was excited and tried hard to hide that fact. I did try to be as unobtrusive but rejoiced at the thought that the curious journalist in me will be having a field day (it’s like letting Dracula loose on a blood bank.) Mental tape recorder on.

1.  The smell of the incense was so overbearing that it made me sneeze twice.

2.  When I entered, the stocky facilitator was shuffling the deck a little lousily for my standards. I am a casino dealer, I handle game cards regularly so I resisted the inkling to ask him if I can shuffle for him. His deck of tarot cards are way prettier than the regular casino cards I’m used to. They are more colorful and the images are more elaborate like renaissance art. There are different characters too other than kings, queens, jacks and jokers.

3.  As I was listening to Len’s line of questions, I can’t help but feel sad that she was not just uncertain but is still in denial. The general ‘theme’ of her queries gave her away. I wanted to confront her right then and there and tell her that ‘You don’t really need a seer to tell you that what he did was really terrible. He doesn’t deserve you and that you are better off alone or with someone who appreciates you.’ But I decided to bite my tongue and took ease at the thought that at least now, she was willing to listen to someone. Baby steps.

My turn

  The facilitator must have sensed my eagerness so he asked if I want one too. ‘Why not? It was entertaining and I’ll approach it like a science experiment,’ I thought. After a short pause we began with a brief meditation. “This is a journey…we are one with the universe…yada, yada…” I opened my eyes and was asked to draw 15 cards using my left hand. I came prepared with my main questions that will specifically address certain areas like (1)career  (2)romance (3)family and my path in life the same way one writer/journalist prepares for a press conference where time is very limited. The plan was when I sense some digression on his part, I’ll only rephrase but basically throw in a similar query. I just feel that P400 for 15 minutes isn’t cheap so I was bent on milking every minute of it. Bam, bam, bam! like a baseball player with a very poor batting average the first three of his so called ‘visions’ were way off. “So this is what’s going on in your life…” Again, I had to say ‘no, not exactly.' It’s as if he was reading to a different person. So he asked me if I want to discontinue and probably try some other day. To cut the story short, I was sent out. He was polite though, he said he was a bit drained and cannot concentrate. He probably just cannot tune in to my frequency.

Tarot Reading as a form of Psychotherapy

  He later suggested his colleague on the other booth, who he said was more experienced and was doing it a lot longer than he is. By the time I went in, I was feeling more relaxed since the overwhelming scent of the incense had worn off. The reader was a lady probably in her 40’s, warm, welcoming and something tells me that she was a lot wiser. She began with a brief orientation. She said that what they do is a form of psychotherapy and that they are not fortunetellers. They facilitate free expression, and “by allowing the person to be in touch with that which is within, there follows an instantaneous clarity of one’s feelings…” ‘My friends do that for free,' I thought, but I was willing to do it nonetheless so I just cooperated. She also said that there are other topics that are forbidden: death and health. According to her, they are predestined and are therefore sacred, so it’ll be prudent to skip them. I agreed.

  I was asked again to draw 15 cards. She said that she’ll first look at what’s going on with my life. I remember seeing the card which I later found out was the High Priestess. Then a card with a young man on a boat wading through what appeared like a river also turned up. She asked me, 'is this you?' You are contented, happy but you will be settling abroad. Safe, generic but very pleasant so I just nodded and besides I can be anything who I choose to be. So I asked her about my job. I told her that I wanted to quit and would like to resign next year. I asked her what she was seeing. She asked where I was working and for how long. And without even turning up a card, she asked me to wait longer, probably another 4 years or so. She told me that she works in a Government Owned Corporation too, and that she knows how it works. It’ll be wiser if I stay and avail of a more attractive separation package. Makes sense. The next 10 minutes felt like I was talking to a financial adviser rather than a tarot card reader. She said that “you always have a choice, but remember to have a buffer fund that will last you at least 3-6 months.” But “I’m 32.” “That’s still young iha, no need to rush.”

  I heard her tap the bell when the timer went off. My time was up and I had no plans of extending. She asked me to draw from a pile of message cards. She read it:

“Let go of all that is false and that which do not mirror your highest intentions for yourself. Thus, we allow divine light to enter and miracles to happen.”

 She handed the card to me-Truth and Integrity. It was very entertaining but my fearless forecast is that I won’t be seeing a tarot card reader again anytime soon.